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Conversation 2/26
VanillaKittens0omg nibby I messed up so bad on fanon * 9:49Nibby the Birdhi * what happened?? * 9:49VanillaKittens0just... all of that stuff. The mean leaving blog and the accusations and the arguments * I didn't mean for it to end that way * 9:50Nibby the Birdwell what did you mean it for? * 9:51VanillaKittens0Honestly I don't know. I was just really mad and after I cooled off I realized I had messed up again... * I wanted to leave nicely * 9:52Nibby the Birdyou don't have to leave, dream * but just, please understand people are down to the last straw. you lied about storm, dream. that's.... not easy to forgive * and i know they can be sensitive and not always the fairest and everything * 9:54VanillaKittens0I didn't mean to lie, I really did feel attacked, but I realize now I was probably being overdramatic. But I have left the wiki and I told everyone I wasn't coming back and I'm keeping my wor * d * *attacked by NS * 9:54Nibby the Birdi guess i understand * 9:54VanillaKittens0I'm so sorry * 9:54Nibby the Birdbut like, if you feel more comfortable on the wiki, you should be on it * 9:55VanillaKittens0I lost all my friends * xd * 9:55Nibby the Birdit's alright, dream. i know how bad you feel * 9:55VanillaKittens0I think I have bipolar depression * 9:55Nibby the Birdi don't know much about that but do you feel like you need to be on meds? * 9:56VanillaKittens0I'm going to talk to my doctor and parents * 9:56Nibby the Birdthat's good * but you don't have to tell them thing's your not comofrtable with * 9:56VanillaKittens0I just have terrible mood swings and I keep lashing out and then I feel bad * 9:56Nibby the Birdi just think medication and everything is really important * 9:56VanillaKittens0it would probably help me * 9:56Nibby the Birdi think so * anyways, it's good to talk to you again * 9:57VanillaKittens0but, if I did return, it would have to be on this account not on my DW1 account * same I've missed you a lot * 9:57Nibby the Birdi know that sometimes breaks are necessary but i was really worried for a while * yeah i think that's a good idea * 9:57VanillaKittens0and I felt bad because I made Raybean mad and I was like her only friend * 9:57Nibby the Birdget a fresh start. be transparent about things you regret, but at the same time, work on re-integreting * *inegrating * lol * I think ray is just generally upset right now * like remember how before all this happened, she was really down on herself?? * im a little worried about them * 9:58VanillaKittens0I wish I could take back everything I said * 10:00Nibby the Birdit's alright, the fact that you do feel this way means your not a bad person * i know people with depression who worry all the time about being a bad person and are so scared of it * 10:00VanillaKittens0I don't want to be a bad person * I just want to be a good person and I wanted to be a good friend to the wiki * but I sucked at it * 10:01Nibby the Birdi know they're not, because people who don't worry about being bad also dont their actions * *dont care about their actions * you didn't suck at it. you make mistakes * 10:01VanillaKittens0I make bad mistakes. I do it in real life too * I think I try too hard * 10:02Nibby the Birdmaybe * but i think you just need to check yourself often. it's hard and can be difficult, but i guess just work on thinking about what you say online really carefully * 10:03VanillaKittens0I know... I should * 10:03Nibby the Birdand maybe im just talking nonsense here, but having friends who will do this is important * 10:04VanillaKittens0for some reason, it's like I only slip up and get mad on the wof websites * like on here, I'm good * 10:05Nibby the Birdhuh * maybe it's just because they're bigger * like here, you know everybody and it's small and undre control * websites like that with so many users are boud to have trouble come up eventually * 10:06VanillaKittens0that could be it. * 10:06Nibby the Birdmaybe it's a good idea to hang out here for a bit. ill talk to dew, if you want to be an admin again * 10:06VanillaKittens0also, did you see the message jarkie left on my wall? * 10:06Nibby the Birdwe can still talk and everything but you'll get a break from there * no?? * 10:06VanillaKittens0yeah!! * https://wingsoffirefanon.fandom.com/wiki/Thread:1054233 * 10:08Nibby the Birdoh * 10:08VanillaKittens0I'm not sure I can come back after that * 10:08Nibby the Birdi mean, look. it's reasonable for them to be mad after that, especially since they're like really close friends with storm * anybody in their position would be mad when someone they didn't know too well said they're friend did something really bad when they know the friend didn't * 10:09VanillaKittens0yeah but I mean I feel like it was unnecessary... I understand that they were mad, but they were acting like I'm some homophobic. * am I a bad person Nibby? * 10:10Nibby the Birdyou're not a bad person, dream. but you've made some really bad mistakes that hurt a lot of people, myself included * your feelings of anger are totally valid and understandable but that doesnt make your actions justified * 10:11VanillaKittens0I know * I just can't return to wof fanon * 10:12Nibby the Birdi think you can. but you've got to be transparent and upfront about this * and if people still don't want to be your friend after that, you know what? that's okay. it's not anybody's obligation * it's their obligation to treat you with basic respect but at the same time the deal is done * 10:13VanillaKittens0I can't though, Nibby, because I know that when I talk to people they'll be putting on a 'nice act' but I'm pretty sure most people see me as some demon kid * 10:13Nibby the Birdthen be upfront. if you don't want peopl faking it, then don't fake it either * it's hard but you have to. tell people what yo did and that you're sorry, and talk to storm * i think they're more upset than actually angry ** I put up that last blog offering my apology and a lot of people refused it. I really just can't go back. It's easy for you, since you have a lot of people on your side, people that love you, but it's hard for me to go around and have a good time when I know that people are going 'ugh it's dreaming, that weird hypocritic liar.' And the fact that people are upset makes me more mad because I want to fix it, but I can't because I am bad at apologies and making-ups and whatnots. I simply can't go back to a wiki that I've hurt, a wiki that's hurt me. What will people think of me after I made that big to-do about me leaving and then I come back like 'oh never mind im sorry please love me.' I'm sorry, but I just can't return. ** all right; maybe talk later ** thank you, Nibs